Let’s Learn the Etiquette of Eating Together: 26 Essential Manners for Communal Dining
PoriPurno News Desk | August 06, 2025
In South Asian culture, particularly in Bangladesh, it is common to dine together from shared plates or large serving dishes—whether it’s a gathering at home, a wedding feast, or a religious event. However, such occasions often reveal a lack of basic table manners, leading to discomfort and awkwardness among guests.
Eating together is not just about fulfilling hunger—it is a social act that reflects one’s upbringing, self-restraint, and respect for others. Practicing proper etiquette during communal meals preserves dignity and harmony. Here are 26 fundamental etiquettes one should observe when eating together:
1. Do Not Lean Over the Food
When food is served from a shared bowl or platter (e.g., khichuri or mixed puffed rice), do not bend your head toward it. Maintain a comfortable sitting posture, keep your mouth in its natural position, and bring your hand to your mouth—not your mouth to the dish.
2. Do Not Shake Off Uneaten Bits
If part of the food in your hand does not make it to your mouth, do not shake it back into the communal dish or your own plate. Instead, keep it in your hand and place it in your mouth when ready.
3. Keep Hands Away from the Shared Dish
After taking a bite, keep your hands to yourself. Some people have the habit of resting their fingers or hand on the edge of the serving dish while chewing. This is unsanitary and disrespectful.
4. Avoid Unnecessary Mixing
Do not start flipping or over-mixing the food in the shared platter unless everyone agrees. Frequent stirring disrupts others and can be off-putting.
5. Don’t Add Ingredients Without Consent
Whether it’s adding extra mint leaves or pouring gravy into a bowl of puffed rice—do not modify the communal food without informing or taking consent from others.
6. Do Not Reach Across to Take Others’ Portions
Eat only what is directly in front of you. Avoid stretching across to grab preferred items, such as fried onions or meat pieces, from someone else’s side.
7. Don’t Reject the Common Dish Abruptly
If everyone is eating a particular item, like bitter gourd fry, do not say “I don’t eat this” and then rush to take a large piece of roast. Be patient and considerate—let everyone finish the shared item before moving on.
8. Follow the Serving Order
Let the host or designated person serve food in an orderly fashion. Don’t call them out of turn or break the sequence for your own convenience.
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9. Don’t Stare at Others’ Plates
Focus on your own food. Looking frequently at others’ plates makes people uncomfortable and creates a sense of surveillance.
10. Use One Hand for Eating Only
If you’re eating with your right hand, avoid using that same hand to hold your spoon, glass, or napkin.
11. Avoid Making Sounds
Refrain from burping, slurping, or making throat-clearing noises while eating. Such sounds are unpleasant and impolite.
12. Don’t Transfer Your Leftovers
Do not place unwanted items from your plate—like a boiled egg or dessert—onto someone else’s plate without asking. The other person may not appreciate it.
13. Take Only What You Can Eat
Do not overcrowd your plate. Also, when eating, take small bites so that your cheeks do not puff up in an unsightly manner.
14. Do Not Ask for Missing Items
If curd, lentils, or other sides are not present, do not ask for them aloud. Continue eating with what has been served.
15. Do Not Waste Tissue
Use tissues only when necessary. First rinse your hands with water, then dry with a tissue or napkin to avoid waste.
16. Appreciate All Dishes Equally
Even if one dish tastes better, do not say so publicly. The host has prepared all items with care and emotion. Singling out one dish may devalue the rest.
17. Chew Quietly and Discreetly
Do not make smacking or gulping sounds. If you feel nasal congestion, wipe discreetly. If a bone or shell needs to be removed from your mouth, do so privately, not in front of others.
18. Don’t Dig Through Dishes
If you’re choosing a piece of meat or vegetable, select visually and pick it gently. Do not shuffle or dig through all the items with a spoon or your hand.
19. Don’t Ask Others to Pass Dishes
Instead of making someone pass a dish across the table, bring your plate near the serving bowl and help yourself—or politely request assistance without burdening others.
20. Do Not Preach During Meals
Avoid giving nutrition advice mid-meal, such as explaining why you don’t eat egg yolk and suggesting someone else should. It’s neither the time nor the place.
21. Maintain Proportion in Salad
Do not pick out only your favorite item (like tomatoes) from the salad bowl. Take all ingredients—cucumber, radish, tomato—in equal measure.
22. Avoid Making Personal Requests
Do not ask someone to bring just one chili or pinch of salt for you alone. Either manage without it or help yourself if it’s nearby.
23. Be Grateful, Not Demanding
When the host brings out pulao or biryani, don’t immediately ask, “Is there plain rice?” Accept what is served graciously.
24. Match the Slowest Eater’s Pace
Try to eat at the same pace as the slowest eater in the group. It helps everyone finish more or less together and avoids making others feel rushed or left behind.
25. Finish the Meal Together
Avoid finishing early and getting up while others are still eating. Staying until the end shows respect and togetherness.
26. Avoid False Modesty
Don’t say things like “I hardly ate anything” after having eaten heartily, just to hear polite reassurances from the host. Everyone at the table already knows the truth.
Why These Manners Matter
Communal dining is a test of character. These etiquettes may seem minor, but they make a major difference in ensuring everyone feels respected and comfortable. Neglecting these basic rules often leads to negative impressions, tension at the table, and in extreme cases, social exclusion from future gatherings.
Understanding and practicing these etiquettes is not merely about sophistication; it is about compassion, mindfulness, and self-restraint—values that benefit society as a whole.
If you think these are difficult to grasp in theory, try practicing them in real life. Invite friends and family over. Learning by doing is always more effective.
If you know of more such etiquettes, feel free to add them in the comments. Let us relearn the grace of eating—together.
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