Why Emotional Distance Grows Between Spouses After Childbirth — And How to Solve It
Special Report | PoriPurno News Desk
📅 Published: May 11, 2025
In many families across Bangladesh and the South Asian subcontinent, a common scenario unfolds after the birth of a child — the warmth in the marital relationship gradually begins to fade. Love and companionship are often replaced by responsibilities and obligations. While many couples accept this as a natural phase, in reality, it can be a serious red flag that gradually builds emotional walls between partners.
This situation intensifies with the arrival of a second or third child. Romance gives way to routines, and the bond between husband and wife starts resembling that of siblings. With the constant demands of childcare, household chores, and work pressure, couples find little to no time for romance or private moments. This emotional gap can eventually lead to bitterness, psychological distance, and, at times, mistrust.
Co-Sleeping Can Negatively Impact Marital Life
In many households, it’s not uncommon to see children aged 5 to 7 still sharing the same bed with their parents. However, experts suggest that once a child reaches the age of 2.5 to 3 years, they should start sleeping separately. This is the age when a child begins to develop self-awareness and curiosity about their surroundings.
If a child unexpectedly wakes up and witnesses an intimate or confusing moment between the parents, it can lead to confusion or even psychological stress. On the other hand, constant co-sleeping disrupts a couple’s privacy and intimacy, which are crucial for a healthy marital relationship.
Tips for Transitioning Your Child to Sleep Separately
- Create a separate bed or room for the child
- Decorate the room in a way the child likes
- Read a story or play an audiobook at bedtime
- Once the child falls asleep, return to your room
- Use a baby monitor in case the child wakes up at night
- Before the child wakes up, cuddle beside them in the morning
With patience and consistency, children can adapt to sleeping independently, helping restore intimacy in your married life.
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Don’t Overlook Your First Child After the Second One Arrives
Another common challenge arises with the birth of a second child — parents often, unintentionally, neglect the older child. Most of their affection and attention is redirected to the newborn. The elder child, who is already emotionally aware, begins to feel neglected or less loved. Scolding them, assigning more responsibilities, or constantly comparing them to the younger sibling can create feelings of resentment, neglect, or even jealousy.
What You Can Do:
- Spend quality one-on-one time with the elder child
- Reassure them that your love hasn’t diminished
- Treat both children equally without making comparisons
- Maintain consistent routines for meals, sleep, and playtime
Rebuilding a Loving Family Environment
- Dedicate at least 1 to 1.5 hours daily for quality family time — laughing, playing, and storytelling together
- Express love and affection toward your spouse in front of the children
- When angry, take time away from family instead of reacting emotionally
- Spend a few quiet moments alone — on the balcony or rooftop — practicing deep breathing or meditation
- Reflect: Is your anger truly justified? What triggered it?
A family is not just about duties — it is an emotional sanctuary where love, mutual respect, and privacy matter deeply. While caring for children is vital, we must also nurture the roots of our relationship so they don’t wither in the shadow of responsibility.
Let’s take care of love, not just duty — because a happy family is the foundation of a strong and resilient society.
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