Family

You Cannot Change a Man, But Love Can Transform Him

PoriPurno News Desk | August 08, 2025

It is often said that a man’s nature is stubborn and resolute. Changing him by force or argument is nearly impossible because he is deeply rooted in his beliefs and ways. However, love holds a transformative power far beyond confrontation. When a woman loves sincerely, a man begins to change naturally — his behavior softens, and even his tone of voice shifts without effort.

A woman is not inherently strong in the typical sense. If she tries to force strength, she may break; if she tries to patch herself up, she may hurt. Fundamentally, a woman is gentle and fluid — like water. So gentle that even the strongest man in the world melts in her presence.

When discord arises in a marriage, the first step should be self-reflection. Ask yourself: Are you behaving with tenderness and grace befitting a woman? Before trying to be “someone’s desire,” consider whether you are loving in a way worthy of being desired. Divorce and disputes might draw crowds and mediation, but only when a wife becomes truly “womanly” and gently appeals to her husband does his mountain-like anger cool instantly like icy water. This delicate chemistry between husband and wife is understood by none other than themselves.

Therefore, when problems arise, don’t rush to call your mother. Understand your man. He spends his day outside earning money and dealing with many kinds of people. His mood can be unsettled for various reasons. Though a woman’s work is tough, she does not face society the way he does, so it is easier for her to remain composed.

When your husband returns home, care for him. If his face looks pale or weary, don’t ask “What happened?” immediately. Offer him water. Suggest he freshen up before dinner. Only then, with a calm mind, ask what’s wrong.

A man wins sometimes, loses sometimes. Celebrate his victories, but also accept his losses without blame. He feels disappointment too. Instead of scolding, support him, ease his burdens, and give advice at the right time. Managing these moments is a woman’s special role.

Reflect on the example of Hazrat Khadijah (رضي الله عنها), who was a pillar of strength during the early days of Prophethood. When the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) expressed fear and despair — “Khadijah! I think I will be killed, who will believe me?” — Khadijah comforted him gently, praised his qualities, and restored his confidence. This personal support made her the greatest woman in Islamic history, and this incident alone is proof of her unmatched role.

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This is why women’s calmness, peace, and softness are such a powerful allure to men. A woman whose voice is louder than her husband’s, who acts aggressively or too modernly, and adopts masculine traits, is like a peacock trying to become a crow. No matter how beautiful such a woman is, her marriage does not thrive; it becomes rusty and weak, surviving only for the sake of children or social appearances. This is not a fulfilling life — it is a burden.

Therefore, dear women, embrace your womanhood. Be gentle, be calm, be soft, be peace. You will see even the hardest man melt before your drops of genuine love.

Do you still have questions? Or would you like us to give you a call?

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